Laugh Track: How long have you been a stand-up comic?

Tom: 2 years

What other comics will you be watching during the festival?

I’ve always been into Chicago comedy, so it’ll be cool to see Jay Washington. It’ll also be a great experience for me to see what everyone from the Denver scene has to offer.

If you could give yourself advice when you first started out, what would it be?

Stage time, stage time, stage time. The more often you get up in front of different crowds, the better comic you’ll become. Its as simple as that. There’s no off-season in comedy. Its an art that requires attention everyday. If you keep polishing and working on your craft, and taking advantage of even the smallest opportunities, sooner or later good things tend to happen.

If your future self ten years from now could give you advice, what would it be?

Assuming I live that long, it probably be to give up any hope of Gremlins 3 ever coming out. Its not going to happen. Let it go.

Scientology inspired questions. Feel free to go into detail if you need to. Here we go…

a) Do you lie about yourself? Only to Katie Holmes and other women who don’t realize they want to sleep with me yet.

b) Do you connect yourself with bad influences? By putting down the book I’m reading so I can reach the TV remote.

c) Should you be punished forever? No. It was one time. The only reason I pushed the little dude down the stairs in the first place was because he wouldn’t say “Whatchu Talkin’ Bout Willis?!”

d) Have you ever invented perverted sexual practices? Yeah. We hold practices every day at City Park. Practices usually last about an hour, or in my case, 3 mins. Bring $10. Membership includes a free jump rope and thermos.

e) Is there a past life that you can’t talk about? If I looked anything more like Jerry O’Connell when he was fat in Stand By Me, maybe.